Best of the Internet: What Do Women Want in a Man? (Poet or Otherwise)

My daughter sent me this. It made me laugh aloud several times. It contains a significant amount of truth...


What I Want In A Man! Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. Loves surprising me on weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Plans together time on weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man , Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet. 

See Joe on Saturday, December 11th at Lift Bridge Book Shop!

Saturday, December 11th, 45 Main Street, Brockport, NY at Lift Bridge Book Shop, "Local Children's Book Author Holiday Extravaganza," — Come See Many Local Authors, and invite Joe to your school! He will visit, and everyone will have fun!

Better Than Sheep Lice?

When I first read this quote, I laughed and laughed. If you haven't read BIRD BY BIRD, you need to. It's must-reading for writers.

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little."

Anne Lamott

Please leave a comment.

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Who's Reading This Blog?

Who's reading this blog? People from all over the world.  PLEASE MAKE SOME COMMENTS AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR POETRY INTERESTS ARE? Pageviews by Countries

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Mystery Lady of Plattsburgh

During the November book festival I was invited to perform poetry in Plattsburgh, travel expenses paid and a fee, but I hate driving, and Ralph Hunkins, my favorite undergraduate professor no longer lives there. To see him, it might have been worth the trip and then performing poetry all day for a school district. My wife, Marilyn, said that I should have agreed to do it, even without me since she has back trouble.  When the teacher or administrator whispered in my ear while selling books at the festival table, I didn’t realize that she had seen my show in the Brighton Room. I am almost positive that she is the lady closest to the viewer in the next photo. (This was a very serious moment when I was reading about my car accident in Chicken Soup. We had serious moments and humorous moments during my poetry show.)

Who knows, the Mystery Lady may contact me again. I hope so! I really enjoyed entertaining the group. Next time opportunity knocks again for travel, I will answer the door. I’ve learned my lesson.  My family thought I was nuts to say no.  Like I said: I’ve learned my lesson.

A Good Thanksgiving Poem

This poem was November's winner on my Monthly Poetry Contest for kids at www.joe-sottile.com. The poem that wins has to simply be good and say something about our lives. This one is both, written by an 8th grader.

I Am Thankful

By Matthew Joseph Feyh

                             I am thankful for everything given to me.
                             I am thankful for a place to stay.
                             I am thankful for warmth every night.
                             I am thankful for friends that care.
                             I am thankful for food to spare.
                             I am thankful for grandparents that love.