Very Punny! LOL!

I hope you enjoyed the graphic on this page. Is that a typical picture of a poet or what? Give me a break! I found it amusing. It's not exactly what I see in the mirror in the morning. What I see in the morning scares me, so my first goal of the day--after putting my feet on the rug--is to avoid all mirrors, if possible. Just assume that my remaining hair is reasonably straight and my buttons are closed. My friend Chet is good at telling me whether or not I am having a wardrobe malfunction. These people like Chet are worth their weight in gold, aren't they?

Just today at Dunkin Donuts Chet pointed out some coke stains on my tan sweater. What an all-seeing eye he has. Or does he have two eyes like that? We could increase the employment rate if he hired people for the Wardrobe Malfunction Police. Yeah, Chet could become the new Czar. Yeah, Czar Chet, that's the ticket! He actually pays all of his taxes, so Obama could appoint him without worry. Sounds like a plan.

Now, let's get serious and talk about children's poets, humor, and monster riddles. I think that a children's poet needs a good sense of humor. I have never been accused of NOT having a good sense of humor. I loved to make puns in the teacher's lunchroom. Of course, there were a number of teachers that did NOT like hearing puns at lunch. (I used to wonder a little if they liked kids or not.) Yet, if you're a writer, aren't puns fun? And, if you're a teacher, don't you want to share puns and riddles with your students? Ah, in October, I used to post a Monster Riddle every day on the board for the kids to figure out before the bell rang. Where do monsters live? In Vampire State Building. What do monsters like to eat? Lady Fingers. And so on...Here come 18 Puns for your reading pleasure. About time, right?

I was sent these puns awhile ago via the Internet, author unkown.

Life’s A Great Adventure


1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. A backwards poet writes inverse.

4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

7. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

10. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

11. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

12. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

15. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

16. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

17. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

18. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

May the Muse be with you!