Book at Number 3 at Booklocker.com!

Book at Number 3 at Booklocker.com! So I decided to celebrate by wearing a silly hate. (Of course, I had some encouragement from one of my grandkids. His name is Ricky, but he will remain nameless here. LOL.) Celebrating by wearing a wild hat is less calories than drinking sparkling grape juice. You can find out more about 101 SECRETS! at the following site:

http://booklocker.com/

Waiting to See the Principal and Other Poems is ranked 40 in children's poetry books. See below. That's good. Amazon.com has more than 8,000,000 books listed for customers to purchase.

Product Details

• Paperback: 140 pages
• Publisher: Booklocker.com, Inc. (October 18, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1601453566
• ISBN-13: 978-1601453563
• Product Dimensions: 10.8 x 8.2 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #66,307 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #40 in Books > Children's Books > Literature & Fiction > Poetry > Humorous

My Hours For Fulltime Work...

Legatonic Cat

LOL!

MARRIAGE

Want more need I say?

Best of the Internet: LOL

Is it me --or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it.

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I had amnesia once---or twice.

********************

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

********************

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

********************

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

********************

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

********************

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

********************

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

********************

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

********************

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

********************

My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.

********************

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

********************

How can there be self-help "groups"?

*******************

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

********************

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

********************

 Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

********************

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it.

********************

I had amnesia once---or twice.

********************

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

********************

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

********************

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

********************

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

********************

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

********************

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he

grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

********************

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

********************

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

********************

My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.

********************

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

********************

How can there be self-help "groups"?

*******************

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

********************

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

********************

 Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

********************

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it.

********************

I had amnesia once---or twice.

********************

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

********************

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

********************

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

********************

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

********************

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

********************

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he

grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

********************

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

********************

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

********************

My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.

********************

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

********************

How can there be self-help "groups"?

*******************

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

********************

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

********************

 Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

********************

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it.

********************

I had amnesia once---or twice.

********************

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

********************

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

********************

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

********************

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

********************

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

********************

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he

grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

********************

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

********************

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

********************

My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.

********************

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

********************

How can there be self-help "groups"?

*******************

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

********************

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

********************

 Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

********************

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it.

********************

I had amnesia once---or twice.

********************

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

********************

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

********************

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

********************

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

********************

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

********************

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he

grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

********************

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

********************

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

********************

My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.

********************

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

********************

How can there be self-help "groups"?

*******************

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

********************

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

********************

Better Than Sheep Lice?

When I first read this quote, I laughed and laughed. If you haven't read BIRD BY BIRD, you need to. It's must-reading for writers.

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little."

Anne Lamott

Please leave a comment.

Not Me!

Poets need lots of rest so that they can reflect on the human condition, daydream about making life better, and challenge their grandkids in wii. But they don't nap. This is not me. I don't care what you say. This is not me. It's not even a poor sketch of me. I have more hair...I think...My belly isn't quite that round. My glasses aren't perfectly round.  I don't nap. I don't snore. This in not me. I am not in denial. This is not me. Did I tell you? This is not me. I get a solid eight hours of sleep every night. I kid you not. This is not me. I don't nap. I hardly ever get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom. I have an awesome bladder. I sleep like a rock because I don't nap. I don't own a rocking chair. My wife does. She owns a Lincoln rocker. I own a recliner. But I don't nap...zzz....zzz...zzz...zzz...zzz...zzz...zzz...zzz...zzz...

Kids on An Instant Vacation with Silly Sottile

The above photo was taken on the cafeteria floor at Florence Brasser Elementary School in Chili, New York. The kids are enjoying an instant vacation with "Silly Sottile." What's an instant vacation?

Milton Berle said that “Laugher is an instant vacation.” I think he’s right. And according to www.SimpleTruths.com, we need to laugh at least 12 times a day to remain healthy. Here are a few laughs from one of their clever books, Laughter Is An Instant Vacation…

“Insanity doesn’t run In my family. It gallops.” –Cary Grant

As a parent, my wife and I have one thing in common. We’re both afraid of our children.”—Bill Cosy

“I am not going to vacuum until Sears has one that I can ride.”—Roseanne Barr

“Guests, like fish begin to smell after three days.”—Ben Franklin

“All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar.”—Kathy Guisewite

Very Punny! LOL!

I hope you enjoyed the graphic on this page. Is that a typical picture of a poet or what? Give me a break! I found it amusing. It's not exactly what I see in the mirror in the morning. What I see in the morning scares me, so my first goal of the day--after putting my feet on the rug--is to avoid all mirrors, if possible. Just assume that my remaining hair is reasonably straight and my buttons are closed. My friend Chet is good at telling me whether or not I am having a wardrobe malfunction. These people like Chet are worth their weight in gold, aren't they?

Just today at Dunkin Donuts Chet pointed out some coke stains on my tan sweater. What an all-seeing eye he has. Or does he have two eyes like that? We could increase the employment rate if he hired people for the Wardrobe Malfunction Police. Yeah, Chet could become the new Czar. Yeah, Czar Chet, that's the ticket! He actually pays all of his taxes, so Obama could appoint him without worry. Sounds like a plan.

Now, let's get serious and talk about children's poets, humor, and monster riddles. I think that a children's poet needs a good sense of humor. I have never been accused of NOT having a good sense of humor. I loved to make puns in the teacher's lunchroom. Of course, there were a number of teachers that did NOT like hearing puns at lunch. (I used to wonder a little if they liked kids or not.) Yet, if you're a writer, aren't puns fun? And, if you're a teacher, don't you want to share puns and riddles with your students? Ah, in October, I used to post a Monster Riddle every day on the board for the kids to figure out before the bell rang. Where do monsters live? In Vampire State Building. What do monsters like to eat? Lady Fingers. And so on...Here come 18 Puns for your reading pleasure. About time, right?

I was sent these puns awhile ago via the Internet, author unkown.

Life’s A Great Adventure


1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. A backwards poet writes inverse.

4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

6. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

7. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

10. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

11. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

12. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

15. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

16. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

17. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

18. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

May the Muse be with you!