Showing posts with label Build Myself a Poem in Rochester. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Build Myself a Poem in Rochester. Show all posts

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Honorable Mention: RMSC!

BuildMyselfRMSC.jpg

Honorable Mention

RMSC

by Katherine Warth, age 11
Rochester

Of all the subjects at my school,
I think science is totally cool!
There's only one place that I go,
when Science is what I want to know.
The Rochester Museum and Science Center,
starts the fun as soon as you enter.
From a Wooly Mammoth skeleton,
to gooey experiments with gelatin.
You never know what you might see,
because this museum is the place to be!
Great for all people; children, women, or men.
I just hope we can go again!
"RMSC," ©2011, Katherine Warth. All rights reserved.





(Joe’s Commentary: The Rochester Museum and 

Science Center! What a great place to write about, 

especially if you like science! And who isn’t captivated 

by sights of the Wooly Mammoth skeleton or gooey 

experiment with gelatin? Yes, this is the place to be for 

all ages. This is a very good poem. And I hope to see 

your poetry again in print, Katherine, Congratulations, 

Katherine!)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

And the Winner Is!



The Poetry Contest Winner for the One and Only
"Build Myself a Winning Poem in Rochester, NY"

July Poetry Winner:

Corbett's Glen                                                                                                                                         


Gates McMahon (age: 13)                                                                                            


Penfield, NY

Corbett's Glen                                                                                   

The world is twisted, broken, and polluted above...
But, through the tunnel
nature remains.

Crystal clear water
and verdant green trees beckon.

Through the tunnel
Through the tunnel

Water cascades down craggy rocks
And the songs of birds harmonize with the bubbling creek.

Through the tunnel 
Through the tunnel

Wooded pathways lead the way
through nature's private world

Serenity and peace await…

Through the tunnel

(Joe’s Commentary)
You don't have to look very far for a winning poem. This Monthly Winner, Gates McMahon, wrote a poem for this site and the poetry contest: “Build Myself a Winning Poem in Rochester, NY.” Why did it win?

I picked "Corbett's Glen" as the winning poem because it gives me a feeling of peace and tranquility. I like all the word choices, especially "beckon," "craggy," "bubbling," and "crystal clear," and the alliteration in the poem such as "Water cascades down craggy rocks..." 

I was drawn right into the poem from the first verse on. And I did admit to the contest readers that I was partial to repetition. I do think that the repetition of "Through the tunnel" works in this poem. It encourages me to walk through the tunnel and see the beauty of the rippling water. We have a small pond in the back of our house, and this poem gives me a feeling of hope and home. The poem is well-done. I don't usually get excited about nature poems, but this one seemed to hit the mark. And it's definitely about the Rochester area with its own story to tell.

I hope you enjoyed it.

In the next three days I will add the three Honorable Mentions.

A special thanks goes to Debra Ross for inspiring this particular contest and covering it in her weekly newsletter and website at http://rochester.kidsoutandabout.com
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