"Build Myself a Winning Poem in Rochester, NY"
July
Poetry Winner:
Corbett's Glen
Gates McMahon (age: 13)
Corbett's Glen
Gates McMahon (age: 13)
Penfield, NY
Corbett's Glen
The world is twisted, broken, and polluted above...
But, through the tunnel
nature remains.
Crystal clear water
and verdant green trees beckon.
Through the tunnel
Through the tunnel
Water cascades down craggy rocks
And the songs of birds harmonize with the bubbling creek.
Through the tunnel
Through the tunnel
Wooded pathways lead the way
through nature's private world
Serenity and peace await…
Through the tunnel
(Joe’s Commentary)
You don't have to look very far for a winning poem. This
Monthly Winner, Gates McMahon, wrote a poem for this site and the poetry
contest: “Build Myself a Winning Poem in Rochester, NY.” Why did it win?
I picked "Corbett's Glen" as the winning poem because it gives me a feeling of peace and tranquility. I like all the word choices, especially "beckon," "craggy," "bubbling," and "crystal clear," and the alliteration in the poem such as "Water cascades down craggy rocks..."
I was drawn right into the poem from the first verse on. And I did admit to the contest readers that I was partial to repetition. I do think that the repetition of "Through the tunnel" works in this poem. It encourages me to walk through the tunnel and see the beauty of the rippling water. We have a small pond in the back of our house, and this poem gives me a feeling of hope and home. The poem is well-done. I don't usually get excited about nature poems, but this one seemed to hit the mark. And it's definitely about the Rochester area with its own story to tell.
I picked "Corbett's Glen" as the winning poem because it gives me a feeling of peace and tranquility. I like all the word choices, especially "beckon," "craggy," "bubbling," and "crystal clear," and the alliteration in the poem such as "Water cascades down craggy rocks..."
I was drawn right into the poem from the first verse on. And I did admit to the contest readers that I was partial to repetition. I do think that the repetition of "Through the tunnel" works in this poem. It encourages me to walk through the tunnel and see the beauty of the rippling water. We have a small pond in the back of our house, and this poem gives me a feeling of hope and home. The poem is well-done. I don't usually get excited about nature poems, but this one seemed to hit the mark. And it's definitely about the Rochester area with its own story to tell.
I hope you enjoyed it.
In the next three days I will add the three Honorable
Mentions.
A special thanks goes to Debra Ross for inspiring this particular contest and covering it in her weekly newsletter and website at http://rochester.kidsoutandabout.com.
This turned out to be a great idea.
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