Poets Love Puns

Both of my daughters, pictured above, enjoy my crazy sense of humor, including puns. I have discovered through the years that many writers, especially poets, relish puns, and it makes perfect sense--since poets love playing with words:

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.  2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'llserve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.  4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!" 13. I went to a seafood disco last week, and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.  "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."  18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' Theother goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later…Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.       Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." : 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with hisodd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large. 21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

A Pile of Books

Wish I wrote it...

Books to the Ceiling

By Arnold Lobel

Books to the ceiling,
books to the sky.
My pile of books are a mile high.
How I love them!
How I need them!
I'll have a long beard
by the time I read them.

Get Some Humor Here!

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.
Leo Rosten


My grandson, Ricky, was going to the Senior Ball, and this was photo opportunity time on the front lawn for two of his grandparents. A neighbor yelled, "Get away from the garage sale sign!"


Then I yelled, "No, stay there!" And he did. Ricky and I both had the same insight at that moment. This would make a rather silly photo. I didn't ask him to lean on the sign, which made it an even better photo. Who would ever wear a tuxedo to a garage sale? Shop for bargains in a tux?   

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
Max Eastman


Ricky has gone through a lot of medical procedures in his life, but he has a rich sense of humor. I think that is partly due to all of the pain that he has experienced.   

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
Jennifer Jones


I agree 100% with that quote. There's nothing silly about it. 

"I like Joe Sottile's Football Poem Right Here!"

WAITING TO SEE THE PRINCIPAL AND OTHER POEMS

The Book Festival (Part Three--About Gratitude)

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."  That quote by Melody Beattie is one of my top ten favorites.

The Rochester Children's Book Festival feels like "home" to me because I have been there a number of times at my assigned table striving to get readers more interested in poetry and the ten-year-old inside me that writes poetry.

I feel very grateful to all those that contributed to this marvelous event, especially Sibby Falk, Kathy Biasi, MJ, Christine Horton, Natisha LaPierre and many Dedicated Volunteers, and many more unsung heroes of The Day. We were all showered on that Saturday  with sunshine, energetic readers, and happy adults. Those six hours at the festival were action packed with many memorable moments. For me, as indicated in "Part One", I meeting my personal writing hero, Steven Kellogg, who I first me in 1978 while he visited a school in the area. But my love for his books and my two daughters love for them didn't end there. When such talented writers and illustrators create a large body of work (like Steven), it is such a blessing! I am grateful to him and others like him who are both prolific and immensely creative. Our RACWI group is bursting proudly with many members that fit that description.

I am also thankful for the girl (about ten-years-old) who pointed to the two books on my table Waiting to See the Principal and Other Poems and Picture Poetry on Parade! And then she said, "I have this one and this one, and the one that's not on the table!" (The one not on the table--Bathroom Vacation--is out of print.) After that she ran off, leaving me with a moment to treasure.

Vivain Vande Velde is a member who I treasure because I first met her at my first children's book festival in 1999 sponsored by the Democrat and Chronicle on the grounds of the Memorial Art Gallery. I was happily selling my first book Bathroom Vacation under a large tent and encouraging the book lovers to read at least one poem along the way. If they did, 50% of the time they chose to purchase the book. This didn't go unnoticed by Vivian who was stationed nearby. After greetings were exchanged, she asked me if I would like to attend the Rochester Children's Book Festival which she was in charge of. Of course, I was over-joyed at that possibility, and I have been a member ever since. Besides being the person to ask any question about publishing, she is creative, prolific, funny, and charming. And she always shares a flood of photos from the festival--organized and labeled like a storyboard. Thank you, Vivian. You're quite an asset to the RACWI organization!

I also need to thank the Purple Balloon Lady, Debra Ross, and her helpers for making the day extra special for all our visitors. And, if you're not getting her weekly KOA newsletter, you're missing out on how much fun the Rochester area can be. And as RACWI' s special promoter, you're missing out on promoting what you do as an author or illustrator. In addition to her newsletter, promoting, writing, and being a wonderful mom, she is an excellent critic and editor. I certainly value what she has to say about poetry and writing in general. She can even make dreams come true such as reading your poetry on the radio! So you can sign up right here...

http://rochester.kidsoutandabout.com/email-list-signup.php.

I have one more quote for you. It's from Albert Einstein, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

I would consider it a small miracle if you signed up to be one of my "followers." Why would you want to do something like that? This blog isn't just about poetry. I am a former teacher, but I haven't lost my class forever. I love to perform poetry. I will come to any class for free in the Monroe County area, and I'll leave them laughing. After nine years of not teaching daily, I miss the kids and the ambience of the classroom. So the more people that know how eager I am to spread poetry, the more I will be sharing the joy of poetry. Poetry for kids is win-win.

At night I periodically share whatever I have learned during the present 24 hours right here. The more followers that I have, the more likely I will write at night before or even during the Charlie Rose Show.

It’s important for you to read this blog now and then because I need to write and find out what I know. That might sound a bit self-centered. But I am sure Anne Lamott agrees with me. She says, "We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason why they write so little."

According to Bonnie Friedman, "Successful writers are not the ones who write the best sentences. They are the ones who keep writing. They are the ones who discover what is most important and strangest and most pleasurable in themselves, and keep believing in the value of their work, despite the difficulties."

If I stumble across any golden writing nuggets, I’ll share them here first with you!

We are better than sheep lice.

Joe Sottile
joe-sottile.com

The Book Festival (Part Two) Bookworm Place

When I walked into One Busy Bookworm Place, it was just that--busy, busy busy at various round tables. I thought perhaps I had already missed the bus, but it the back of the room there was rectangular table put together in the shape of an "L". And I was escorted to that area. I declined using a microphone, and I plugged in my "poetry performance" voice. About 12-15 kids were soon tearing one piece of paper into four smaller sheets to write a mini-version of "Truths and Lies." Kids always take the tearing of the paper very very seriously. I have to warn them not to worry about how rectangular the slabs of paper look. But there is a part of me that enjoys how serious they look about the easiest part of their creation.

We then wrote about what we "want" and what we "love." The kids did it willingly, wondering what I would ask next. They now had two good poetry lines expressing their feeling and both started with "I". I told that they had just written a piece of "non-fiction"--that is, "non-false" writing. And poets and writers do that all the time, but the real fun is writing "fiction"--lies. I reassured the group that fiction writers do that all the time. So, consequently, it was okay for them to do that today. All of a sudden fireworks were going off in their eyes and they started writing as fast as they could. It was fun to lie about something that they really didn't want or love. Then they placed their one sentence slabs of paper in any order that they liked to complete their poems. Now they were two-thirds through with the poetry workshop. The best part was saved for last.

I said something like this, "The best part of writing a poem is sharing it with others. Who wants to be the first one to read your poem. Remember you're SAFE! Nobody knows for sure what lines are true or false--unless you tell them. " I immediately was rewarded with some brave souls willing to share their slant on the world, and I had five minutes left to let as many as possible share. How did I know for sure how much time I had left? A volunteer walked by with a sign saying "You have 5 more minutes...and then the Earth will split open and you will fall into molten lava." Okay, I am kidding about the last part of  the sign. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. What follows are my young poets sharing their poems, and I was rather proud of them for being brave poets. They were execellent at sharing their poems. And it was fun working with them. On this sunny day they were sharing their own inner light.

Don't these kids look confident and proud? They did a wonderful job writing and performing their poetry. All I can say or scream is "BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!"

And thank you to Natisha LaPierre for being there to help.