If I Were a Car

If my body were a car, I would be trading it in.

I've got bumps, dents and scratches in my finish.

 
My paint job is getting a little dull and rusty.

And I have brown spots popping up on my hood.

My headlights are out of focus, and I can’t see close up.
My traction isn’t graceful--I slip and slide and skid.

 
I bump into things even in the best of weather.
My four whitewalls are stained with purple veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
I’m getting more and more gas, and less and less miles.

And worst of all, every time I sneeze, cough or sputter,

my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires! 

~Andy Mouse