Honorable Mention: Rochester Auditorium Theatre

Honorable Mention

The Theater

by Rebecca, age 12

Penfield

The Auditorium Theater is the place to go
When you want to see an amazing show

When I was little I saw “Blue’s Clues” and “Bear”
Then I saw “Wicked” and “Lion King” there

My friends were a part of the “Wizard of Oz” cast
All who watched surely had a blast

“Lion King” was really great
I hope to see it again at a later date

“Wicked” is my favorite, I saw it three times
Sorry, I can’t think of any other good rhymes

My mom helps us get tickets really cheap
She makes sure we don’t go to shows sure to put us asleep

Next year we’ll see “Shrek” or “Billy Elliot”, either one would be great
Which one will we watch? I’ll just have to wait

On the third floor is MJT Stages, a small theatric endeavor
However, it’s a great place to see shows whenever

I’ve been to camp there for many years
It’s helped me overcome my acting fears

So that is the one of the greatest places around
You should head over there if you’re ever in town

Joe’s Commentary: The Auditorium Theatre certainly is a special place to visit. Rebecca has written a very convincing poem with perfect end rhymes. It makes me want to head to the Auditorium Theatre to have some thrilling experiences. Rebecca, thanks for sharing your poem with readers. Keep on writing poetry. This is a very good poem. Congratulations, Rebecca!

Honorable Mention: RMSC!

Honorable Mention

RMSC

by Katherine Warth, age 11

Rochester

Of all the subjects at my school,

I think science is totally cool!

There's only one place that I go,

when Science is what I want to know.

The Rochester Museum and Science Center,

starts the fun as soon as you enter.

From a Wooly Mammoth skeleton,

to gooey experiments with gelatin.

You never know what you might see,

because this museum is the place to be!

Great for all people; children, women, or men.

I just hope we can go again!

"RMSC," ©2011, Katherine Warth. All rights reserved.

(Joe’s Commentary: The Rochester Museum and 

Science Center! What a great place to write about, 

especially if you like science! And who isn’t captivated 

by sights of the Wooly Mammoth skeleton or gooey 

experiment with gelatin? Yes, this is the place to be for 

all ages. This is a very good poem. And I hope to see 

your poetry again in print, Katherine, Congratulations, 

Katherine!)

Second Place Winner!

Second place

Wickham Farms

by Nathan Murray, age 10
Penfield

Wickham Farms in Penfield is so close to us,
We can get there without a fuss.

I love your ice cream in a cone,
And picking a pumpkin you have grown.

In the corn maze I get lost,
Your chicken dinner is low cost.

On the jumping pillow I go up and down,
I never ever get a frown.

Animals, playground, tractor rides,
Batting cages, mini golf, then inside…

We look for the cute little mice,
And the people that work there are so nice.

Birthday parties, field trips from school,
On holidays you really rule.

There’s no doubt east or west,
Wickham Farms you are the best!

"Wickham Farms," ©2011, Nathan Murray. All rights reserved.

(Joe’s Commentary: I love the details in this poem. They create distinct images of fun to be had on a special farm from “picking pumpkins to “tractor rides.” I especially like the end rhymes which sound natural and unforced.  Then there’s the powerful use of personification near the end: “On holidays you really rule.” This is a marvelous poem written by ten-year-old Nathan Murray. Congratulations! Keep on writing poetry!)

And the Winner Is!

The Poetry Contest Winner for the One and Only
"Build Myself a Winning Poem in Rochester, NY"

July Poetry Winner:

Corbett's Glen                                                                                                                                         


Gates McMahon (age: 13)                                                                                            

Penfield, NY

Corbett's Glen                                                                                   

The world is twisted, broken, and polluted above...
But, through the tunnel
nature remains.

Crystal clear water
and verdant green trees beckon.

Through the tunnel
Through the tunnel

Water cascades down craggy rocks
And the songs of birds harmonize with the bubbling creek.

Through the tunnel 
Through the tunnel

Wooded pathways lead the way
through nature's private world

Serenity and peace await…

Through the tunnel

(Joe’s Commentary)

You don't have to look very far for a winning poem. This Monthly Winner, Gates McMahon, wrote a poem for this site and the poetry contest: “Build Myself a Winning Poem in Rochester, NY.” Why did it win?

I picked "Corbett's Glen" as the winning poem because it gives me a feeling of peace and tranquility. I like all the word choices, especially "beckon," "craggy," "bubbling," and "crystal clear," and the alliteration in the poem such as "Water cascades down craggy rocks..." 

I was drawn right into the poem from the first verse on. And I did admit to the contest readers that I was partial to repetition. I do think that the repetition of "Through the tunnel" works in this poem. It encourages me to walk through the tunnel and see the beauty of the rippling water. We have a small pond in the back of our house, and this poem gives me a feeling of hope and home. The poem is well-done. I don't usually get excited about nature poems, but this one seemed to hit the mark. And it's definitely about the Rochester area with its own story to tell.

I hope you enjoyed it.

In the next three days I will add the three Honorable Mentions.

A special thanks goes to Debra Ross for inspiring this particular contest and covering it in her weekly newsletter and website at http://rochester.kidsoutandabout.com.

Free Poetry Contest: Build Myself A Winning Poem in Rochester, NY!

Poetry Insider presents... 

A special poetry contest

                              for kids in the Rochester area!

Have you seen this new video, 

Build Myself in Rochester, NY?

Kids age 5-18. Enter this special poetry contest during the month of July 2011 to win a $50 Amazon gift card! Simply watch the video, write a poem about one (or, I guess, more) of the places pictured in that video. Send the poem to jsottile@frontiernet.net by July 31, 2011. 
Contest entries will be published both on this blog and on KidsOutAndAbout.com.

YOUR “BUILD A WINNING POEM IN ROCHESTER” should:

1. Be directly connected with the above KOA video in terms of topic.

2. Any age student from 5-18 may enter.

3. Your poem may rhyme or not.

4. It may have more or less than 30 lines. Long poems are not necessarily better than lean ones.

5. Strive to connect with the emotions of your readers in the Rochester area. Write from your heart.
6. Send your best version of the poem by July 31 to jsottile@frontiernet.net  Poems after that date at midnight will not be accepted.

7. Please make sure that you write BUILD A POEM CONTEST IN ROCHESTER in the subject area of the e-mail.  And write your name (as you want it to appear next to your poem), your age,  and where you live.

8. After entering your poem, pat yourself on the back for entering. Why? You were brave by stepping out of your comfort zone by sharing a piece of yourself--a polished poem. 

Here are some great ideas to get you started thinking about how to write a poem for this contest:

Poets love to play with words and take the ordinary and make it special. Poets love to tell little stories with as few words as possible. Poets are dreamers. Poets don't always make sense. Do you know a few Nursery Rhymes? This is one that I like:

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!"

I like the sound of "Humpty Dumpty" and it's repeated in the second line. I enjoy saying it twice. The poem usually comes with an illustration. So I know he's a rather large egg. And he must have been important because all of the king's horses and men tried to put him back together again. Such a silly story inside a poem! But why do you remember it? The end words rhyme — wall and fall, men and again. The rhyme helps you remember the "story" in the poem. So what have you discovered so far?

• It's okay to be silly in poems and rhyme words.
• Poems can tell mini-stories about a big fat egg or more--such  as a special place, building or an experience in a special building. You can do that in your poems!
• Write from your heart to capture the hearts of your readers!
• Repeating words in a poem is fine, as long as it sounds good.
• To make sure you poem is good, you will need to revise and read it aloud again and again to yourself.

In the poem, "The Wheels on the Bus," we are told eight times in the first four lines that the wheels go 'round and 'round, but that's okay. It just makes the poem more fun. Many songs can be written down on paper because they are really poems set to music — just like "The Wheels on the Bus." In my poem "Dad Says He's King of the Castle," I have mom laughing "tee-hee-tee-hee" nine times. (Pages 53-54 in Picture Poetry on Parade!) And when I visit schools, kids love to chant mom's line with me. That convinces me the line really works.

Don't forget the winner will be awarded a $50 Amazon.com Gift Card!

TOP 7 POETIC IDEAS FOR ELEMENTARY STUDENTS

1.     Poetry can be about any topic—from bugs to friendships, from happy times to sad times.

2.     Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme, but look for repetition of words and certain word patterns.

3.     Poetry creates pictures in our heads with as few words as possible.

4.     Poetry is lean and you have to read in between the lines.

5.     Poets use tools to construct their poems such as repetition, alliteration, personification, metaphor, meter, similes, onomatopoeia, and more.

6.     When life is happy or sad, poetry can help you share your feelings.

7.     If you can write your name, you can write a poem.

Best of the Internet: Fun Words

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate 6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets ! 7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living 8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist 9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does 10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money 11. MISTY: How golfers create divots 12. PARADOX: Two physicians 13 PARASITES: What you see from the top of the EiffelTower 14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm 15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with 16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV 17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring 18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife 19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does 20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official